Paying all the bills since my boyfriend got fired

Dear Pastor,

Merry Christmas to you when it comes. I am 22 and living with my boyfriend. I am working and I give God thanks for that.

At present, my boyfriend is not working. He and his boss had a dispute so the boss paid him off and fired him. I blame my boyfriend because he used expletives to his boss. He even told his boss what to go and do with his mother, so his boss fired him on the spot. It is his co-workers who told me how it went and they blamed him. He went and apologised to his boss, but he did not take him back. Now he is without a job and is unable to buy anything new for the house or for me. He is looking to me for everything.

We don't have children together, but he has two children with another woman. I told him to make sure that he gives this woman some money that he has saved so she can buy what she needs for the children. He is a good man, but now I have to be paying the rent on my own and the note for the car that he bought. He is out every day trying to find work. His brother is in construction but he and his brother don't get along very well. His brother says that he is too ignorant, so he cannot have him around.

My parents are expecting me to spend Christmas Day with them and naturally, they are expecting him to come with me. But now my boyfriend says that he is too embarrassed to go to my parents' home and they have already found out that he was fired from his job. I have bought gifts for my parents, so the gifts would be from both of us. His children are also going to be with my parents, but their mother would not be there. My boyfriend is very proud, but I told him that for such a proud person, he has to learn to control his temper and not to tell people anything that comes to his mouth. Rent is due on January 6 and it is $60,000. How am I going to pay it, I cannot tell. The crazy thought that has come to my mind is that I would have to leave this man because I do not want the landlord to ask me for the rent when it is due. I do not want to owe him.

I know that my father would help me to pay the rent, but I am too embarrassed to ask him because he would question me whether this man was saving any money. I don't know what to do.

I.M.

Dear I.M.,

Your man has to learn to have respect to anybody who has employed him. He should not expect to curse his boss and then expect him to continue to employ him.

He is a foolish young man. His boss was correct to fire him on the spot. He was probably showing off, but before a man speaks, he should consider his obligations that he has, his family, his rent and other things. In general, you should not be disrespectful to anybody, especially to those who are the head of your company or whoever is in charge of the organisation at which you work.

I believe that you really love this man, but he needs to listen to you and follow your advice. You might have to struggle with him until the holidays are over and hope that he would get a job soon after that. He is embarrassed to go with you to your parents' home for Christmas. I am sure they will understand. Try and coax him. Tell him to swallow his pride and when you are with your parents, I hope that they will not mention what happened between him and his boss.

Pastor