Co-worker is trying to steal my boyfriend

Dear Pastor,

I am from rural Jamaica, but I came to Kingston to work in a hairdressing parlour. I am 25.

My best friend does this kind of work, so she encouraged me to learn it. After a while, I became very good at it. I got involved with a man and I went to live with him. He is 35. My friend loved the man and she used to tell him lies about me. After a while, she told me I should get rid of him because he is a no-good. I asked her how she knew that and she said he asked her to go to bed with him. I did not know she was saying these things because she wanted the man and I to break up, so that she could have him.

One day I was not feeling well, so I did not go to work. My boyfriend came home during lunchtime to check up on me and brought me some food. He said that the girl called him and told him that she does not believe anything was wrong with me. She said that she believed I just wanted a day to spend with another man. I asked my boyfriend whether he believed what she said. He said part of the reason why he checked with me during lunchtime was not only to make sure I had something to eat, but to see whether I was at the house or I had really gone with another man. Why would I go with another man when my boyfriend is taking good care of me and I never had to give him any money to pay rent? This woman I am working with has two children for two different men and she gets money from both of them, so I don't understand why she wants my boyfriend.

My boyfriend confessed to me that she asked him whether he could do anything in bed, because he has had to take her home and he has never asked her for sex. He does not want me to continue to work at her place. He wants me to work on my own, and he would provide everything for me to start. I told him I am not ready to do that, and to do so, I would need modern equipment and another girl to help me. Everybody who comes to the parlour tells me that I am looking and dressing well. Although I am working my own money, my boyfriend gives me money every week to buy groceries and to put away some for a rainy day. Every month end, he gives me money to send to my grandparents. I love him so much.

One of his sisters is in the retail business. She orders clothes from abroad and sells them reasonably. I used to take things to the parlour. My co-worker has taken items from me and it is hard to get the money for them, so I don't take anything to sell at the parlour any more. My boyfriend has a regular job, but he also has a taxi on the road. A younger man works the taxi.

S.M.

Dear S.M.,

The woman with whom you are working is jealous of you. She believes that you are doing better than her.

She sees you as a country girl who has come to Kingston and is not only surviving, but getting ahead. I don't doubt that she is throwing herself at my boyfriend. I hope that he will not allow himself to become sexually involved with her. He has told you many things about what she said. She really wants you to break up.

I wonder whether this woman would like to see you leave the parlour. I would suggest that you humble yourself. Do your best and never speak negative things about her to any one of your customers. Your boyfriend means well. He sees that you are capable, but you are still young and it would be very costly to rent a space to open a parlour, buy all the equipment, and attract your own customers.

I knew a young woman whose husband divorced her, but he also gave her extra money when the divorce was settled. She rented a space, bought equipment and opened a parlour. She lost big time. The time may come when you can go on your own, but not now. Make sure you save some of the money this man gives to you. Don't be a fool. Continue to dress well, and take good care of yourself. Don't waste your man's money.

I look forward hearing from you again.

Pastor